Last week Justin Timberlake issued an apology.
It came as the internet was buzzing with the realization that his career blew up when the careers of two amazing female artists he was either involved with or performed with fizzled after a shared experience.
It was an apology for his white male privilege and lack of understanding about how both his silence and actions played a role in the negative impact to the careers of two female performers, Britney Spears and Janet Jackson.
I was a huge fan of both Britney Spears and Janet Jackson.
I remember seeing Britney Spears in Vegas surrounded by her huge entourage as adoring fans screamed her name (ummm, I may or may not have been one of them!)
I remember both of the incidents that these women had with JT very clearly.
His revenge song “Cry Me A River” and the wardrobe malfunction in the Super Bowl halftime show.
I remember Britney Spears’ meltdown and feeling like an overprotective big sister (or mom??) wanting the best for her.
I remember Janet Jackson’s fallout from this “malfunction” and how she apologized for something that wasn’t her doing — and was blackballed by the music industry.
But what I don’t remember?
Being aware of the lack of fallout for JT.
I don’t remember being mad over his rise on the backs of two amazing female performers.
I realized how I’ve been conditioned in a world where men played superior roles to women.
It was just the way it was.
Women were emotional and had meltdowns.
Women had wardrobe malfunctions.
I’m sick when I think about the conditioning that I grew up with by society.
(Thankfully I had a very strong mom who was a great role model!)
I see how it held me back in so many ways.
Don’t get me wrong, I had amazing male mentors and role models.
But we were all functioning under this set of rules in which women had to work harder, be kinder and fit in and men can, well, just be men.
So I existed in a professional world of not wanting to say the wrong thing or offend.
I worked my ass off in my career, and was praised for “getting engaged” or “being so nice and genuine” while my male counterparts were praised for tangible results that “mattered” to the organization.
All of this fed into the BS story I told myself in times of stress.
- Am I worthy of this success?
- Am I doing enough?
- Am I enough?
So what does this have to do with my slip up?
I had a not-so-nice but very genuine moment in my business recently.
It happened on a Facebook Live (of course it did!)
I had a slip of the tongue that had my face bright red and laughing uncontrollably!
My audience and I were both dying!
Let’s just say I’ve never been good with metaphors 😊
But this was the best part….
It taught me that being genuine can mean screwing up royally and allowing that screw up to be a part of your success story.
You see, in that moment, being genuine was my super power.
Yes my face turned bright red.
But the difference in this embarrassment is that in the past, it would have felt like shame.
Because I was unaware of my conditioning in the JT world.
But now that I know better and do better, I feel powerful in my business.
I was able to truly enjoy the embarrassing moment and the laughter that ensued throughout the day.
So my message to you:
Embrace all parts of you. The screw ups. The embarrassing moments. The unstoppable wins.
You are more powerful than you know!
If you’re still reading this, you might be a woman who relates to this story. If you’ve leapt into the entrepreneurial world and are ready to overcome all the stories holding you back from getting your business ideas out of your head and into your bank account, I’d love to connect to learn more about your situation. Schedule a call here.
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